Friday, March 4, 2005
This was an exciting night for seven of us Gateway College of Evangelism students. I never could have imagined that four pizzas could attract so many people on a street corner in inner city St. Louis.

This is a story for all those that blew it.  I’m one of those that really screwed up (I’ll talk about that later).  But for all of you that feel like you’ve messed up too much, or you’ve ruined what God called you to do (again, I can relate), just listen to what I have to say and let me encourage you a little bit.

Mass confusion was everywhere.  My fourth grade peers were racing toward their cubbies, taking out raincoats, umbrellas, hats, and anything else their mother had packed for them that day.  It was almost 3 o’clock and time to race to the buses.  There was excitement and anticipation for getting out of school.  Not for me, though.  My feet were frozen.  I couldn’t move.  I was gaping in horror at the puddle between my legs.  I opened my umbrella, hoping to hide the evidence.  Lindsay, my best friend, rushed over.  Perfect Lindsay, with her side-swept hair (remember the 80’s?), had come to my rescue. Glancing at my open umbrella and the pool under it, she assumed that the rain from earlier that day had been captured, then released when I opened my umbrella.  This was a way of escape that I could never have fathomed.  She even helped me clean up the mess.  Almost 20 years later that moment is still the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me.  Lesson learned: public restrooms are okay to use.

This promise of Galatians 6:9 (“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”) is made to each of us when there is something we are praying for and we have not seen the answer.  This happens many times when we are praying for the salvation of a loved one, and we don’t seem to see any progress.

“…in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

A few weeks ago, God spoke this scripture into my spirit:  “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:11).

Hurricane Ivan was bearing down on us.  I had taken all of my plants indoors and secured all patio furniture.  The only thing I left outside were my wind chimes.  I couldn't bring myself to bring them in. They are much too happy in the midst of all of the wind.  My heart sings along with them.

Several years ago I was working for a company that specialized in research, design, and prototyping of advanced military vehicles.  As anyone who has ever been associated with the defense industry can attest, it is a volatile business.  In the wake of 9/11, the company found itself needing to reevaluate and restructure.  We endured months of turmoil, and one temporary shutdown before we were told that things were becoming more stable.  That “stability” lasted two weeks before we were unceremoniously informed that the company was in serious financial trouble.  We were laid off, effective immediately.  In addition, we would not be receiving our paychecks for last pay period worked.

Like many new converts in Apostolic churches the past decade, I did not “cut my teeth” on the church pew. I come from a family of drug-abusing parents, and I have relatives with shady pasts. My birth in itself was a little bit shady, learning as I got older that my parents’ marriage was out of necessity because I was coming into their not-so-ready-for-a-baby lives. Obviously, the marriage turned into another statistic.

I want to share my personal testimony with you—and it is hard to share in whole with people.

I didn’t grow up in church. I knew there was a God. My grandma and mom were Lutheran, and I went to Sunday school a lot with my grandma. Then I started going to a Brethren church with my neighbor for a few years. I knew there was a God, and I knew a lot of the Bible stories. But I didn’t think that God was there for me.